Hows my little preemptive?

Death.

My income is earned by dealing with arguably the most emotionally trying times in any person's life, death.
This opening statement should probably be used in a future blog, but it gets you in the mood...

Since I deal with the death care industry significantly more now than I have ever in my life, I've begun to think about when I'm dead how I want to be disposed of and remembered. So, these following words in the event of my untimely death are to be carried out to whatever measure a person in charge of my corpse can in their own right. Until of course i have a will or some other more official thing lined up past my blog.

How does one dispose of themselves?
Ask any of your friends and family, according to the funeral industry about 30% of them will say they want to be cremated and scattered somewhere. The funeral industry has changed little in the past 100 years, I bet their survey taking hasn't either. I'm guessing most <60% folks my age want to be burned. Me included, there is no romanticism about it, I'll be dead, the heat won't bug me.

After a lot of thought and some open debate, I've decided that when my body decides its done listening to my mind I want a few things done. Yes, even in death.

First. I'm starting to really take up this whole recycle your shit idea in my daily life; with what I consume to what I don't. So if someone can use my bits and pieces when I'm done with them, good. Doctors, sick people (who aren't smokers, nothing would piss me off more than for some sack of shit smoking themselves to death getting my nice healthy clean lungs, fucking greedy bastards, may they live an awful rest life with shitty lungs if that is the case[i hope that curse works!]) or just some people in need, you never know who could save the world, if I helped the person who ends up saving it, sweet. All of it too, don't skimp whatever can be foraged do it.

Next after my body has been harvested of its stuff worth taking plop me right in the crematory. Or freezer I suppose I can be patient. I don't want a dash of preservative in me. Why? That stuff is awful for the environment, and ....

I don't want a wake, visitation or funeral...in the traditional sense. Family, friends or whoever, throw a party in honor of me, if you think my ghost will be wandering around with you having a jovial time than sweet, more power to ya. I sure as hell won't be looking down from the fluorescent lights smiling, if I'm anywhere I'll be enjoying my newfangled walking through walls abilities. Make sure there is lots of booze. Nothing like celebrating remorse with some depressants! Seriously though, at least have beer, and some yummy foods.

After I'm done being ground up and burned, take my ashes put them in a rubbermaid container from target (don't waste my/your money on an urn!) so that you can dump them around in some places that I had a good time at, if you need ideas you can start with outside any bar on Superior street in Duluth, somewhere in the BWCA, down here at Sleepy Creek, or at Justin's cabin. Just don't bury me, especially in one spot. As I was told once, you never know where they will build the next Wal-Mart.

So after you've sprinkled me around the midwest (I had fun in Ireland when I was there hint hint) Plant some tree that will look nice somewhere, maybe in a park or something, not in a cemetery though (or a memorial park/garden for you tricksters) and put some sort of remembrance to me in front of it. If it read Tony was here (sprinkle ashes if I wasn't) I would be fine with that. I want a place where if someone wanted to stop somewhere in particular and think, gosh what a guy, remember that time he peed in my shoe?, they could find it. If it somehow included a riddle or some cool alignment with the sun to reveal buried treasure, even better. I want some sort of marker for people to stop by and mull over or lay flowers on if thats their thing.

Most of all, I want to be celebrated for the life I've lived and have yet to live (this is not a suicide note dear lord stop thinking it is) which is why I don't want my friends and family to stop and look at me while I am not alive, that is not the last thing I want anyone to remember me as. Whatever you find to be the characteristic you think worth savoring I want it to be that, not with my eyes peacefully glued shut and make-up swabbed all over my face. I want my friends and family to be able to enjoy what memories they had with me around the world, yet to be able to know of one physical place still devoted to just me.

Many people can argue I'm thinking about this too early but judging from the dates I type in each day, its never too soon to have an idea.

Our grass is becoming brilliantly green today I'm excited for our extra long crappy fall season to go ahead and skip winter and spring and move on to summer!