Hows my little preemptive?

Death.

My income is earned by dealing with arguably the most emotionally trying times in any person's life, death.
This opening statement should probably be used in a future blog, but it gets you in the mood...

Since I deal with the death care industry significantly more now than I have ever in my life, I've begun to think about when I'm dead how I want to be disposed of and remembered. So, these following words in the event of my untimely death are to be carried out to whatever measure a person in charge of my corpse can in their own right. Until of course i have a will or some other more official thing lined up past my blog.

How does one dispose of themselves?
Ask any of your friends and family, according to the funeral industry about 30% of them will say they want to be cremated and scattered somewhere. The funeral industry has changed little in the past 100 years, I bet their survey taking hasn't either. I'm guessing most <60% folks my age want to be burned. Me included, there is no romanticism about it, I'll be dead, the heat won't bug me.

After a lot of thought and some open debate, I've decided that when my body decides its done listening to my mind I want a few things done. Yes, even in death.

First. I'm starting to really take up this whole recycle your shit idea in my daily life; with what I consume to what I don't. So if someone can use my bits and pieces when I'm done with them, good. Doctors, sick people (who aren't smokers, nothing would piss me off more than for some sack of shit smoking themselves to death getting my nice healthy clean lungs, fucking greedy bastards, may they live an awful rest life with shitty lungs if that is the case[i hope that curse works!]) or just some people in need, you never know who could save the world, if I helped the person who ends up saving it, sweet. All of it too, don't skimp whatever can be foraged do it.

Next after my body has been harvested of its stuff worth taking plop me right in the crematory. Or freezer I suppose I can be patient. I don't want a dash of preservative in me. Why? That stuff is awful for the environment, and ....

I don't want a wake, visitation or funeral...in the traditional sense. Family, friends or whoever, throw a party in honor of me, if you think my ghost will be wandering around with you having a jovial time than sweet, more power to ya. I sure as hell won't be looking down from the fluorescent lights smiling, if I'm anywhere I'll be enjoying my newfangled walking through walls abilities. Make sure there is lots of booze. Nothing like celebrating remorse with some depressants! Seriously though, at least have beer, and some yummy foods.

After I'm done being ground up and burned, take my ashes put them in a rubbermaid container from target (don't waste my/your money on an urn!) so that you can dump them around in some places that I had a good time at, if you need ideas you can start with outside any bar on Superior street in Duluth, somewhere in the BWCA, down here at Sleepy Creek, or at Justin's cabin. Just don't bury me, especially in one spot. As I was told once, you never know where they will build the next Wal-Mart.

So after you've sprinkled me around the midwest (I had fun in Ireland when I was there hint hint) Plant some tree that will look nice somewhere, maybe in a park or something, not in a cemetery though (or a memorial park/garden for you tricksters) and put some sort of remembrance to me in front of it. If it read Tony was here (sprinkle ashes if I wasn't) I would be fine with that. I want a place where if someone wanted to stop somewhere in particular and think, gosh what a guy, remember that time he peed in my shoe?, they could find it. If it somehow included a riddle or some cool alignment with the sun to reveal buried treasure, even better. I want some sort of marker for people to stop by and mull over or lay flowers on if thats their thing.

Most of all, I want to be celebrated for the life I've lived and have yet to live (this is not a suicide note dear lord stop thinking it is) which is why I don't want my friends and family to stop and look at me while I am not alive, that is not the last thing I want anyone to remember me as. Whatever you find to be the characteristic you think worth savoring I want it to be that, not with my eyes peacefully glued shut and make-up swabbed all over my face. I want my friends and family to be able to enjoy what memories they had with me around the world, yet to be able to know of one physical place still devoted to just me.

Many people can argue I'm thinking about this too early but judging from the dates I type in each day, its never too soon to have an idea.

Our grass is becoming brilliantly green today I'm excited for our extra long crappy fall season to go ahead and skip winter and spring and move on to summer!

Hows my little Escape?

Since seeing my first Flogging Molly concert I have always thought man, wouldn't it be sweet to see them play on St. Patricks Day? Sure enough, it was. Granted I can't compare it to the last time I saw them where I got to meet the band afterwards but it was still really great. Easily they put on one of the most fun live shows around. Beer can aid the weary. I (foolishly) didn't Bring my camera, so this was the only photo I grabbed worth keeping from the concert.



I'm not all about just running up to Chicago and back for a few hours though. So this trip Laura and I decided we would do it right, and boy was it great to be getting paid to walk around and eat mussels.

On Tuesday we took a half day headed up to Chicago to meet up with pal Justin and his wonderful lady. We found out that Chicago celebrates St. Patrick's day the nearest Saturday to the actual day, so that was a huge disappointment because I wanted to see the greenest of green rivers and hang out at a parade before our concert. This was all we got:

Sure its green but I'm willing to bet that is a natural color of the Chicago River.

Here are some other photos from walking around that day:


Worlds largest working cell phone.

Justin was excited about the river.

Sadly Justin and Allison couldn't hang out with us for the following day, after we parted ways, Laura and I walked on over to the Shedd Aquarium. on the way we took some nice photos around town, I decided if they can dye an entire river I'm sure they covertly dye the lake this ridiculous blue color. I wouldn't put it past the Illinois/Chicago government.



The Shedd was pretty awesome, I love looking at fish and other animals, such as overly concerned parents and obscenely large children. Listening to the southerners talk was fun too. I swear I liked the fish, there were tons of really cool ones, like the fish that was older than my parents, and possibly rivals my Grandpa in age, he was brought into captivity in 1933! Neat.

Here are some fun ones from the Aquarium:

These guys were a riot.





I like all the rays in this picture.

After the Aquarium we had a genuine Chicago Dog and took off for home. I can't say I would do the any different. Next time though I will be prepared for heaps of delicious food, since we didn't get to it this time. I will recommend the Congress Hotel to folks looking for a comfy place to lay their head.

Ohio State and UCLA really F'd up my bracket. Not that I had a clue to begin with.

Hows my little Attraction?

Danville, Illinois.
The name alone sounds pretty boring, many would argue that the town is pretty boring. But, just like everywhere else in the world, it is what you make of it. So far I've been having a grand old time around here. Danville is not where I live. Laura and I live in Oakwood, I try to not associate myself with Danville as much as possible. But it does have its charm and quirkiness to it that I can't help but to love.
Laura and I went cruising around yesterday to bring some of these exciting little bits of our new locale to you:

A random train we drive by on the way to work every morning. Its no longer on rails.

Here are some of the Eatery's around.

Haven't been here yet but will soon.

This place is pink, no idea what kind of food is inside, one of my coworkers thinks its run by a greek mob.

We have eaten here, Laura and I go to lunch here about once a month. The Wednesday special is killer.

This might be the most poorly worded sign in town. I don't get it, do you drop your parents off there with a suitcase full of sex toys and tell them to play nice with the other adults?

I don't have a chimney but if I did I wouldn't rest until I had one of these poking out of it.



ART!

Laura found this on her lunch break one day, we are going to donate to it as soon as we can.

Hows my little complicated simplification?

Now that I am a mostly responsible adult I'm starting to figure out what I want to do with my life and my time. For example considering the future, I don't see myself living in this area for the rest of my life, I would like to go back to school (in another country for sure, screw studying abroad I'm doing it right this time) and get a degree in something that truly intrigues me and would love nothing but to spend the remainder of my days enjoying that sort of thing. I've already looked up the requirements for a Master Sommelier as well as a degree in wine making. I'm still undecided, because I do like being outside, and I prefer to make decisions rather than follow orders.

Also in thinking about my time and life I've been thinking about what I can cut out from it to help me enjoy life to the fullest (more than I already do). So I'm going to attempt to simplify my life. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do that, but some things are going to be to cut out things I only sort of like and do. This will be a tricky thing to do but I am going to be thinking hard about these things.

I'm considering getting rid of my car.
I refuse to live my life one day of work at a time.
I'm going to be a gadget guru not collector. (hah!)
I'm going to stay connected.
I'm going to make more wine and beer. From scratch.
I'm going to read just as much or more.
I'm going to stop my procrastination habit. Later.
I'm going to become really good at something.
I'm going to give up something to become good a something else.
I'm going to make a garden and weed it.
I'm going to get rid of junk I don't use or need.
I'm going to continue my path to organization.
I'm going to vacation more, and spend less to do it.
I'm going to tap my creativity reserves in a different way.
I'm going to Simplify.

Hows my little Critic?

Last night an excited Laura and I sat down in front of the Laptop TV combo for an online viewing of the newest sensation amongst the tweenage ladies.



I am admittedly a fan of the books as of book two, but not such a die hard fan to get pissed at the movie if it were to be off in the story or anything like that, no sir, not me!

Watching the Twilight movie last night made me want to weep in despair. Why? There are numerous reasons to have been completely underwhelmed. Many of those reasons are completely independent of the book to movie comparisons as well.

Lets start with the feel of the film. Awkward. The film was awkward because as a conditioned movie watcher I want my camera angles to change at the LONGEST every five seconds, go ahead and count while watching your next show or movie, this isn't too far off. If there were any dialogue portions longer than 5 seconds I could handle that because there would have been something to keep my mind busy. Nary was there any of that sort.

Blue and Green. I applaud the Art Director of the film to come up with a color palate so drab and moody for an entire full length feature. This was supposed to be film with a fiery romance about some sexy vampire not an attempt to depress the audience, or was it?

Quality of Movie:
I'm very sure after reading the book once, I could have directed this movie at a pretty comparable quality of suck. Give me a handful of young hotties and a the paperback and I can make you something that resembles the story with a handheld and a tripod. Did the actors get chosen randomly from the street? I'll give Pattinson some slack, he at least changed his natural accent. But Kristen Stewart? She couldn't spit out a believable line once.

The acting was so bad that when the movie ended I wasn't convinced they were in love!

They had two hours to do only a few things I'm sure I've seen done in 90 minutes before.

1. Develop the characters.
2. Show me romance and love.
3. How about a thrilling climax?
4. Leave me yearning for more.
I already know there will be.

Of course since I read the book I can't get away with not running any comparisons; The Twilight movie was a solidly bad movie. Especially when compared to the book, the book made me laugh out loud, I couldn't wait to read more and I was skipping lines just to read what came next sooner, THAT is suspense. The movie left me bored and upset at my boredom. There was no suspense, no drama, and no yearning. Hell the conflict only lasted for only 20 of the 120 minutes, where it could have easily lasted 45, easily. That would have left a still solid 75 minutes for love, swooning and support character development.

Jurassic Park managed to be a pretty kickass movie while the book still rocked my world in a completely different way. Why couldn't Twilight?

Hows my little Literate?

I love reading.
As a kid growing up I read LOTS. Boxcar Children, Babysitters Club, Goosebumps, Choose Your Own Adventure Stories, a brief sting of Edgar Allen Poe. As I grew up so did my reading interests, I've read probably 20 Star Wars themed books, and a good chunk of Stephen King and the late Michael Crichton's Novels. Then abruptly in high school I pretty much stopped reading, sure I did read this and that but it was mostly limited to my Maxim subscription and what instant messenger was providing me with. Then just like most college students that trickle of literature dried up and I was stuck with the reading list my instructors provided. Bitches.

Since I've graduated I've found the glory that was/is my imagination. I've been thinking that I need to record what I'm reading, and maybe my faithful readers would be interested in the stories conquer, or have recommendations for me! Now I need to catch you up on What 2009ish has brought me:

Jodi Piccoult - Keeping Faith (08)
JRR Tolkien - The Hobbit (08)
JRR Tolkien - The Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring (08)
JRR Tolkien - LOTR The Two Towers (currently reading)
Thomas Cahill - How the Irish Saved Civilization
Terry Pratchett - Making Money
Aldous Huxley - Brave New World (currently reading)
Stephanie Meyer - Twilight
Stephanie Meyer - New Moon
Patricia Terry - Renard the Fox
JK Rowling - Tales of Beedle the Bard
Dean Koontz - Velocity
Paul Astuer - Book of Illusions (08)
Dan Brown - Angels and Demons (08)
Stephen Hawking - A Brief History of Time (currently reading very slowly at breakfast and only sort of comprehending)

From now on when you see a random book title pop into a post, now you know why.