This weekend I went camping with Laura and 4 friends. After a couple of bags of wine and several pulls of Jim we slept. The next morning for whatever reason I awoke at 5ish unable to get back to sleep. So I got up and wandered around the site and decided I needed to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool. I was walking to the ca-mode not feeling at the top of my game and realized between the six of us we ate nearly 10 pounds of meat the night before, this was going to be epic.
I sat down on the old can which was just inside the main door, but with no door in front of the stall I could have been in a great position to shake anyone's hand to welcome them to the shitter. Since I had no interest in doing such a thing I pushed with all my might and will.
Before sitting down I noticed that this happened to be a deep toilet, 10 feet or so. Maybe its newer?
With a great relief to my colon I relieved myself what was probably 2 pounds of protein and a soft bloop! I heaved a sigh of...disgust. I got a splash back.
Uhhhhgghh...
What do you do!!!??!?!
Imagine this, you're hung over, the nearest body of water is a flooded river capped out and your at leat 2.5 miles from the nearest bit of privacy, it is also between 5 and 6 am.
I sat on the box completely disgusted with myself and nearly wept. Not only did I have an epic poo of the year. But anyone else's epic disintegrated poo of the year was now in liquid droplets on my rear. What do you do!? I whimpered, wiped my cheeks and in between while briefly considering washing my rump in the public water fountain. With my pride swallowed I drizzled hand sanitizer on my fingers and made pancakes a broken and privately humiliated man.
1 comment:
my cousin has a similar story to this... except his happened on an indian reservation and he was miles away from running water. he ended up getting a hotel room with his wife and showering for an hour.
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