Hows my little thirty year old?

Dearest friends whom I've given shit about being old,
  The karma pendulum has now swung back into the middle and things have balanced out. Here I stand on the eve of my twenty tenth birthday and I can't sit for shit, literally. Something has materialized in my lower back and hurts like a banshee. I'm now officially old, I've got back pain and a baby on the way. No more a twenty something with the world at my finger tips I'm just another old man hobbling out of bed and around town.
  It's been an interesting adventure so far, and by far the strangest injury I've had for several reasons. I don't know when it officially started, there was no snap, crackle, or pop. No item that was too heavy nor a fall or shock that was remarkable in any way. One day I stood up and went boy my back is sore, it feels like I need a nice crack to make it better. Oddly sitting is what aggravates it most, I can stand, walk, heck I ran 10 miles on Sunday but sitting is what's the worst. As most of you know I partake and enjoy good long (duration) poops from time to time. I'm just a normal guy who sits down to shit and it's now one of the most uncomfortable things in my life.
  Laura and I are beginning our drive all the way to upstate New York tonight. This is going to create issues, so yesterday I went to a local urgent care, thus doing something I never wanted to do in my life, seek medical care in Danville, IL, and learned they wont prescribe pain meds to walk-ins. Those damn drug seekers ruined it for us honest people. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em...right? So went somewhere else, but the 80 minute wait kept me away from my opiate or steroid fueled future. Fortunately for me I've got some leftover meds from when my appendix was stolen from me, so sitting in a car for hours at a time should be at least bearable.
  So if this what becoming old is like, count me out.

Yours truly,
Tony